Thank you for this Maude and Phil. I call this a Level 4 conversation between partners. Unlike levels 1-3 it's based on presence. So needed and nourishing to a partnership. I've written about the 4 levels of conversations here.
Wow, so very true. It's really horrible to have someone ask you a question and then just start talking about something else while you're answering. Do you call someone out when they do that? (in a friendship relationship - or just chalk it up to 'oh, that's so and so.' Some of my friends are getting older now, so maybe their minds are slipping).
A good question. First, I check to be sure that I have been listening appropriately when the other person has been speaking. If that is true, I might ask a question, like do they feel I am listening to them. I could follow that up with how I am feeling being interrupted. I have one friend who does this consistently. I have pointed it out to her, and she is always grateful to be made aware of her behavior. That is a rare trait though.
Yes, the person may not even be aware of it. She’s been a bit more scattered lately, and I think she just gets a bit carried away. So my midwestern politeness has stopped me from saying anything but then I do repeat what I was initially saying, to see if it clicks. Or if she really wants an answer to the question she originally asked. (maybe not, haha).
Thank you for your beautiful reflections on being present and the nature of love. It resonates deeply with Jesus’s teachings that he shared, that love is not merely a feeling, but a conscious choice to connect with others in meaningful ways. This involves being present—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It is in those quiet moments of connection, where we set aside distractions and truly listen, that we nurture the bonds that unite us.As you said, when we are present we engage with both the verbal and nonverbal aspects of our relationships. While words are important for sharing ideas and plans, the essence of connection often lies in the unspoken feelings and shared experiences. When we take the time to observe the stillness within ourselves and the energy of the person before us, we create a space where genuine understanding can flourish. I also love your devotional picture.
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What a beautifully written, thoughtful article, full of wise love, as always!
Elisabeth Callahan
Thank you. We are so glad this resonated!
Maude
Thank you for this Maude and Phil. I call this a Level 4 conversation between partners. Unlike levels 1-3 it's based on presence. So needed and nourishing to a partnership. I've written about the 4 levels of conversations here.
https://theturnedoncouple.substack.com/p/chapter-10-the-turned-on-couple-the-4ef
Thank you. It is good to be heard!
Maude
(I'll check out your writing on this. M
Wow, so very true. It's really horrible to have someone ask you a question and then just start talking about something else while you're answering. Do you call someone out when they do that? (in a friendship relationship - or just chalk it up to 'oh, that's so and so.' Some of my friends are getting older now, so maybe their minds are slipping).
A good question. First, I check to be sure that I have been listening appropriately when the other person has been speaking. If that is true, I might ask a question, like do they feel I am listening to them. I could follow that up with how I am feeling being interrupted. I have one friend who does this consistently. I have pointed it out to her, and she is always grateful to be made aware of her behavior. That is a rare trait though.
Yes, the person may not even be aware of it. She’s been a bit more scattered lately, and I think she just gets a bit carried away. So my midwestern politeness has stopped me from saying anything but then I do repeat what I was initially saying, to see if it clicks. Or if she really wants an answer to the question she originally asked. (maybe not, haha).
Thank you for the restack!
Maude
Thank you for this loving feedback, Roswitha. It is very gratifying to hear how our writing has touched people.
Maude
Posted on our website:
Thank you for your beautiful reflections on being present and the nature of love. It resonates deeply with Jesus’s teachings that he shared, that love is not merely a feeling, but a conscious choice to connect with others in meaningful ways. This involves being present—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It is in those quiet moments of connection, where we set aside distractions and truly listen, that we nurture the bonds that unite us.As you said, when we are present we engage with both the verbal and nonverbal aspects of our relationships. While words are important for sharing ideas and plans, the essence of connection often lies in the unspoken feelings and shared experiences. When we take the time to observe the stillness within ourselves and the energy of the person before us, we create a space where genuine understanding can flourish. I also love your devotional picture.
much gratitude and love
Roswitha