What beautiful writing ! This lovely description of deeply connecting in a form that explores the core of each individual and then takes the leap to form a mutual decision is truly delicious.Thank you!
Just read your blog and, per usual, it was well thought out and expressed. I love how you guys keep finding new ways of describing the essence of a peaceful relationship.
I was just kicked out of commenting on your substack (which I subscribe to) because they (or you?) wanted me to enter a code. I am sorry but for 2 days Substack has been insisting on code verification which is cumbersome for a variety of reasons. I will be withdrawing my subscriptions to all 5 substack writers as I cannot battle with substack’s tech efforts to make subscribing so difficult . I spent 40 min. on their chat platform yesterday and got nowhere.
I will also say that today’s letter on mutuality is so far from our own experience, that unless we participated in years of couple’s counseling, I cannot grasp the possibility of ever reaching its effectiveness. Does your unique openness with one another and communication style create futility among those of us trying to keep it together? It doesn’t have to and shouldn’t, but in reality it does. I’ve mentioned before I am in a 50 year relationship, our communication style is rubber band like in fits and starts. No violence, more “who has offended who” back and forth. I don’t believe I can do better because he’s a great provider, works hard in his own way to make things work and we have great sex. I could never live on my measly pension either. We are both educated with masters degrees and our work life was immensely gratifying. In retirement communication has been a challenge, but I make the best of it all by trying to enjoy life each day, read more, talk less listen more and right now working on what I want and need from life. I’ve found that friendships are deeply satisfying, kindness is crucial and being there for my 90+ year old parents (who are in assisted living) is hard but gratifying. Mutuality and the working communication behind it is a blessing for you both and I wish you both all the best.
"With any two people, there’s one connection. And it is from that connection that we view the world and make decisions. That connection is a contribution from me and a contribution from you." Reminds me of Sly Stone's line, "Learning to live together." (RIP)
What beautiful writing ! This lovely description of deeply connecting in a form that explores the core of each individual and then takes the leap to form a mutual decision is truly delicious.Thank you!
What beautiful writing in this comment! Thank you for digesting what we wrote and feeding it back to us in such a beautiful way 🙏❤️
Maude
Just read your blog and, per usual, it was well thought out and expressed. I love how you guys keep finding new ways of describing the essence of a peaceful relationship.
Thanks! Phil
I was just kicked out of commenting on your substack (which I subscribe to) because they (or you?) wanted me to enter a code. I am sorry but for 2 days Substack has been insisting on code verification which is cumbersome for a variety of reasons. I will be withdrawing my subscriptions to all 5 substack writers as I cannot battle with substack’s tech efforts to make subscribing so difficult . I spent 40 min. on their chat platform yesterday and got nowhere.
I will also say that today’s letter on mutuality is so far from our own experience, that unless we participated in years of couple’s counseling, I cannot grasp the possibility of ever reaching its effectiveness. Does your unique openness with one another and communication style create futility among those of us trying to keep it together? It doesn’t have to and shouldn’t, but in reality it does. I’ve mentioned before I am in a 50 year relationship, our communication style is rubber band like in fits and starts. No violence, more “who has offended who” back and forth. I don’t believe I can do better because he’s a great provider, works hard in his own way to make things work and we have great sex. I could never live on my measly pension either. We are both educated with masters degrees and our work life was immensely gratifying. In retirement communication has been a challenge, but I make the best of it all by trying to enjoy life each day, read more, talk less listen more and right now working on what I want and need from life. I’ve found that friendships are deeply satisfying, kindness is crucial and being there for my 90+ year old parents (who are in assisted living) is hard but gratifying. Mutuality and the working communication behind it is a blessing for you both and I wish you both all the best.
"With any two people, there’s one connection. And it is from that connection that we view the world and make decisions. That connection is a contribution from me and a contribution from you." Reminds me of Sly Stone's line, "Learning to live together." (RIP)
Great quote! Perfect fit, too. Thanks you for reading our words and finding resonance with them.
Maude
Thank you for the restack. We really appreciate it!